


The Odds are Definitely Not in My Favor

by AlunaGray



Series: lost on the road of life [2]
Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, F/M, Fem!Kakashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-01-26 01:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12545700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlunaGray/pseuds/AlunaGray
Summary: Hatake Kakashi gets reborn as Katniss Everdeen's younger sister. When Katniss volunteered for Prim, Kakashi volunteered for Katniss. A Naruto and Hunger Games crossover story. AU.





	1. Coal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by legolasgreenleaf15

**Summary** : Hatake Kakashi is reborn as Katniss Everdeen's younger sister. When Katniss volunteered for Prim, Kakashi volunteered for Katniss. A Naruto and Hunger Games crossover story. AU.

 **Disclaimer** : Naruto and Hunger Games are not mine.

 **Coal**  - Chapter I:

* * *

When Solanum Everdeen realized that she was Hatake Kakashi, she was three years old.

With sweat running down her blond brows, Solanum curled into herself as numerous memories in no particular order rushed through her mind.

Of a young silver-haired boy who followed the rules and squashed down sentiment and emotions; one who ran, ran, and  _ran_  away from the memories of the past.

Of a reclusive one-eyed man who was so undeniably broken and cracked that he called himself "scum" on a daily basis as he tried to repent for his mistakes.

Solanum broke down into silent tears and gagged in disgust when the vision ended with him – her – feeling undeniable grief as a person laid against the floor with a sword in his stomach, blood pooling around him in a macabre image.

'Father,' her mind whispered.

She couldn't quite control the tortured sobs that escaped out of her mouth.

* * *

Solanum was a simple girl.

She loved her family, loved her pack, loved the people she called hers.

She believed that as long as the people she loved were safe, everything was okay.

Everything was fine.

Fine.

(Even if it wasn't.)

* * *

Even without the maturity that came with remembering her past life, Solanum knew there was something distinctly wrong in the society she inhabits.

The gaunt faces and the sheer scent of poverty that permeated the air practically screamed that the people in this district were struggling to survive and, as part of a family that lived in the Seam, the place where coal-miners lived and worked, this poverty was more apparent. There were times wherein she wasn't exactly starving, no. Her father tried his best, after all. But there was this persistent, nudging hunger that would tell her that it wasn't enough. The food wasn't enough to satisfy - satiate.

She could ignore that, though.

(Solanum always made sure to get the smallest portion, even as her stomach rumbles and tightens uncomfortably.)

As long as her sisters could eat more, it was enough for her.

* * *

Solanum didn't really mind District 12 much. Compared to before, where she had to fight and kill for her village while all her precious people broke down to pieces, this life was good. Sometimes, she could sometimes even honestly say that she loved it with all of its flaws and mistakes.

The sooty place guarded by mountains was calming and, disregarding some of its parts, beautiful.

The wild forests near their home though, made her heart ache almost unbearably. She found it nostalgic. There were times where she just wanted to run and remember what once was. To prove to herself that she wasn't – she wasn't going  _crazy_  and her dreams weren't just a figment of her fevered mind.

Maybe, just maybe, if she went there she'll  _know_.

Unfortunately, there was an electric fence that barred the people from exploring the place so she couldn't even if she wanted to. She asked her mother once for the reason that it was fenced off, to which her mother replied that it was to keep them safe – to keep the wild animals out.

(She ignored the voice in her head whispering that the fence most likely kept the people in. In. Like animals.)

It wasn't like it stopped her father, who sometimes went there to find some food to eat.

* * *

Her family kept her sane.

It was almost scary how Solanum depended on them so much, but she couldn't stop. There were times when the memories drowned who she is and she couldn't remember – couldn't  _distinguish_  the past from the present.

Sometimes she could feel her mind breaking –  _fracturing_  and all she could do was curl in on herself until a voice or a touch from her parents or siblings pulled her back.

(It terrified her.)

(What if she couldn't come back?)

It made her family her foothold - her rock. The ones who kept her from drifting away.

(She wouldn't lose her precious people again. Not like  _before_.)

(She's willing to dirty her hands, if it meant her family could survive.)

They were her  _everything_.

* * *

Solanum loved her family with a love that bordered on obsession. For all that she was a person of her own, she was too broken- too  _haunted_  by the memories of a person that she once was. Loving, for her, meant all and everything that she could give. No holds barred.

Solanum loved her doting Mama. Her current mother provided her the care she didn't experience before and, for that, she was always grateful.

Solanum loved her hardworking Papa. Her father who couldn't –  _wouldn't_  replace Sakumo (how could he when he didn't even see  _her_ ), but a person she appreciated all the same due to the blood, sweat and tears he sacrificed for them.

Solanum loved her sisters, adventurous Katniss and beautiful Prim, with their innocence and untainted souls. They wouldn't get her sins if she had anything to say about it.

(It didn't matter that her anguished screams freaked them out. They hugged her and soothed her, didn't they?)

(It didn't matter that sometimes her parents flinched away from her when she acted too mature. Too adult. Too unlike the daughter they once knew. They're still there, aren't they?)

(It didn't matter that her mother spoiled gentle Prim who matched her looks and demeanor, while her father favored bold Katniss and taught her the knowledge he knew in the forest. They sometimes forgot her but that's alright, wasn't it? She was basically a grown adult before, after all, so the two deserved all the attention they got, right?)

(It didn't matter that her family seemed to see a stranger and didn't understand why she cried so much at night yet showed so little of her emotions during the day. It didn't matter that her sisters didn't know how to interact with her and acted so distant that sometimes she wondered what would happen if she just left. Would they even  _miss_  her?)

(It didn't matter that it hurt. It  _didn't_. No.)

* * *

Solanum should have known there was a catch.

This was disgusting.

Inhumane.

The  _Hunger Games_.

Solanum couldn't help but let out an insane laugh at that one.

She had been reborn into a world where children with little to no training died like lambs at a slaughter for fucking entertainment. The government dangled food as bait to entice people to enter more of their names in the lottery of death in order to survive just one more week or month in the miserable existence they called  _life_.

They were nothing more than pawns. Slaves. The fucking government, Capitol, was playing with them. Cowing them with their prowess. Saying that they could do something as fucked up as this and there was nothing anyone could do but watch as children from every district died.

Was this punishment, perhaps? Solanum knew she killed enough innocents to deserve one, but others fucking didn't.

Solanum first witnessed the event when she was four-years-old, and watching it happen again and again didn't make it easier to stomach.

* * *

Then, she was ten-years-old.

It was her birthday.

Solanum didn't invite any of her schoolmates mostly because of the lack of food, but partly because she had no one to invite.

She was not like Prim, after all, with her charm and charisma. Everybody liked her.

She was not even like Katniss who, despite her prickliness, had friends of her own.

She was just Solanum. Strange, emotionless Solanum.

(Solanum who as Kakashi, only had Gai during her early years because he was persistent and kind. She missed Gai. She wished she could have someone like him by her side too because at least he tried his best to understand.)

The meager food that they had was ready when some strange men came and told them that Papa had died in a coal-mining incident along with a few others.

Papa  _died_.

They were asked to attend a funeral ceremony and continued spouting of information, but Solanum wasn't listening anymore.

Papa  _died_.

She was stuck to her seat and didn't heed the stricken faces of her sisters or the utterly broken look on her mother's face - hauntingly mirroring her own.

He  **died**.

Screaming excruciatingly, Solanum grieved and expressed the pain she felt the only way she knew how.

Everything was not alright anymore.

Not by a long shot.


	2. Flint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by legolasgreenleaf15

**Flint**  - Chapter II:

* * *

Solanum's mouth let out tortured gasps as the latest memory ran its course and plagued her mind. She couldn't bring herself to cry or scream out since Papa's death, and barely a sound had passed her lips for days.

She just felt tired. Wrung out.

Solanum didn't know if she wanted to live anymore.

"Rin." she whispered bitterly. "If I gave up like you did, would it make things okay?"

Closing her eyes, Solanum smiled dolefully. She wasn't Kakashi anymore. No. She carried his sins, his memories, his nindo, but Solanum knew she was more than that. So although she loved the people her previous self called precious, she also saw them in a different light.

(They were not the saints Kakashi saw them as. Exceptionally kind people perhaps, but they were humans all the same with their flaws, mistakes and capability for horrible, horrible decisions.)

Like kind, gentle Rin. Rin is- was lovely. She was the love of Obito's life. The medic. The healer. The mediator.

(Kind, gentle Rin in all her supposed kindness shouldn't have jumped in front of her attack. She shouldn't  _shouldn't_  have killed herself on Kakashi's hand. Solanum understood that she must have had her own reasons, but did Rin even think about how bad of an idea it was to saddle her the guilt on her – the image of her hand through Rin's chest, ripping up her heart until there was nothing left but a broken body?)

Rin was one of the few people her previous self had left, and she didn't trust Kakashi- Solanum enough to save her. She gave up just like that, thinking that she was doing something good.

Good. Something  _good_.

Perhaps, in a way, it was  _good_. Rin effectively put down the threat to the village and, in a way, saved the citizens of Konoha no matter how undeserving most of them were.

But it left Solanum's previous self a husk of a person as Rin used him- her as an instrument for her death.

(There were times when, as much as it made her feel repulsed, she couldn't help but wonder why? Why didn't Rin used a kunai if she wanted to die so badly? She was a kunoichi, wasn't she?)

Solanum was already defective before it happened. She could function, yes. But she was still cracked. Wrong. Broken.

And Rin had made it worse.

Not that being called "Nakamagoroshi no Kakashi" helped.

There were previous memories of hateful whispers. First was "The Son of Stain." Second was "The Dojutsu Stealer." Then–

"Friend-killer."

It was quite a miracle she hadn't quite snapped yet before.

But she supposed that was Konoha for you. Hail to the power of the so-called Will of Fire and the innate duty she couldn't quite discard.

...But Solanum didn't have that now, did she?

(Solanum asked sometimes.

What was the point of living if they were all gonna leave anyway?)

* * *

Solanum stared at the wall blankly.

She hadn't eaten properly for who knew how long, but she couldn't quite bring herself to snap out of her slump.

Solanum vaguely remembered getting dressed by a pleading Katniss and attending a ceremony that was supposed to honor her father's death, along with the other families of the coal-miners who were also killed in the accident; but hours passed by and bled into one another with no defining change in pattern until she didn't know what was happening anymore.

She could feel herself slowly deteriorating. Dying, if one wanted to be blunt. But for the life of her, she couldn't bring herself to move.

She couldn't find the strength. The reason to do so.

Solanum was exhausted and she didn't really want to hurt anymore.

So she cloaked herself in impassivity and waited for death.

* * *

 

"Sol. You have to eat. Please." A voice said worriedly as weary blue eyes bore down on her.

When Solanum didn't reply, Prim touched her shoulder and repeated. "Please."

Solanum's own lifeless gray eyes looked at her younger sister's thin outstretched hand, offering her bread. It was trembling. Pale. Sickly.

In the bubble of apathy she had submerged herself into, Solanum suddenly felt a bolt of discomfort and a niggling, persistent voice in her head spoke up as she tried to focus on her surroundings.

Her eyes sharpened for the first time in weeks and, finally, saw more than her own hurt and suffering.

( _What had she done?_ )

Before she could stop herself, Solanum let out a keening whine when she saw her younger sister, Prim, pale, pleading and alone with Katniss nowhere to be seen, and her Mama-

Oh. Her Mama.

She was  _hurting_.

"I'm sorry." she said, her voice hoarse from the lack of use. "I'm sorry I'm not strong enough."

Prim looked at her in bafflement but comforted her all the same, patting her back awkwardly. "It's okay, Sol."

Solanum wanted to say it wasn't okay. It wasn't because she's the older one. Solanum was supposed to know better. To  _do_  better.

But she didn't. She caught the quick but unmistakable look of discomfort from her sister's face and Solanum understood.

Getting the food with a grateful nod to Prim, she chewed quietly as tears of regret fell down her face.

* * *

Solanum could only look on sadly as Katniss shook their catatonic mother in frustration.

After recovering from her own bout of depression, they fell into a routine. Katniss was surprised when she saw Solanum helping Prim clean up the house after she got back with their food for the week, but her older sister got over it quickly enough. Worry mostly took over Katniss' face and, although she was careful not to show it to Prim, Solanum could see it as clear as day.

In the short time Solanum let herself get drowned by her grief, her eleven-year-old sister took the reins as the head of the house and tried to be both be the mother and father they'd lost for Prim. Katniss did her best to take care of her too, but she was too unresponsive. Too listless for Katniss to do anything to help.

It was difficult for all of them when Solanum got back to her previous self again. Prim and Katniss had always been much closer to each other, and it took days before they could find an acceptable dynamic, but eventually they did.

Katniss led. Prim got taken care of. Solanum followed, tried to help as much as she could and strove to not to be an encumbrance.

Solanum was not stupid. She knew that as much as her recovery was a relief, it was also a burden. Her having not eaten much helped in budgeting the meager compensation given by the district for Papa's death, and now? Although she tried to limit her intake for her sisters to eat more, it wasn't enough.

It made Solanum's chest twinge when she caught the burdened, too-adult look that more often than not appeared on her older sister's face. It was obvious that Katniss was terrified at what might happen to them, and she did try her hardest, but with their stomach were grumbling just a bit more, the community home seemed to not be too far off.

(The community home was a horrid place filled with kids beaten down by hopelessness and abuse, but they had  _food_. If things got worse, if Solanum needed to drag her sisters kicking and screaming to sign them up herself no matter how much they would despise her, she would do so. She wouldn't let them die. Not if she could help it.)

But Katniss didn't want that. Her older sister cared for Prim deeply and didn't want her to experience that kind of hardship.

So everyday before they left for school, after Prim would plait and brush their mother's hair, all of them would plead and try to make her Mama care. To get a job because they were slowly dying of starvation. Saying reasons. Groveling. Asking desperately to please not abandon them.

It didn't work.

So even though Solanum understood the pain her mother was going through, she couldn't fault Katniss for her actions. She knew that privately Katniss was hoping that they would hold out until her first reaping so she could sign up for her tesserae, but Solanum was logical enough to see that from the way they were going, they wouldn't last that long. The money had run out just the other day and they were all slowly starving to death.

For three days, they had nothing on their stomach but boiled water flavored by stale tea leaves in the back of the cupboard. They stopped getting scraps from their neighbors because they had none to spare, and Solanum was sorely tempted to just contact any officials so her sisters could eat – their freedom be damned.

The only reason why she didn't was because it was raining and Katniss had gotten out a promise from her.

Her older sister was observant. Katniss most likely noticed the attention Solanum paid towards the home kids, the name for the children in the community home, and had asked her to take care of Prim until she got back.

(Solanum tried, but Prim's hollowed cheeks and Mama's dead eyes made her sick to her stomach and she was never very good at giving care or affection. She was trained too much before for death to do that.)

(Besides, they're all preoccupied with their own thoughts and well, comfort could only go on for so long in face of starvation.)

Looking at their window overlooking the fence and the forest, Solanum closed her eyes and sighed as the trees rustled - as if mocking her about what she couldn't have and the irrational, irrational fear she had for a home that once was hers, even if it could be a solution.

The forests -

The forests scared her.

(After a while, after her father didn't come back, Solanum broke as history -  _her_  history seemed to repeat itself once again.)

(What if she messed up? What if the forest fucked her up even more? She was walking a fine line between sanity and insanity, and Sol didn't know if she could withstand another loss. She didn't know if she could take knowing- finally  _knowing_  if the dreams she revolved her whole life and beliefs on were nothing more than hallucinations of a child born  _wrong_.)

It was stupid and selfish and she couldn't stop feeling fucking terrified even if she wanted to.

And it didn't even matter really, since she wasn't familiar with the place.

(Always forgotten. Her mind traitorously whispered as visions of her father ruffling Katniss hair as they went into the forest into one of their escapades flashed by. She could remember looking on in yearning and well-)

(Her father always did favor Katniss more.)

Opening her eyes at the sound of the door hitting the wall with a bang, Solanum easily ignored the bitter pang in her chest at the sight of her older sister, before her eyes caught on the bread cradled in Katniss' arms.

"Solanum" Katniss murmured breathlessly. "Fetch Mama, would you? I'll get Prim."

When they each got their own share and the table was set, Solanum tried to sneak more of her part to Mama. She decided to take on the task of feeding their mother after she saw Katniss doing it once in barely concealed contempt. Solanum caught an indecipherable look from Katniss for the action, but she shrugged it off.

(She was used to it anyway.)

...

..

.

It was an experience feeling somewhat full for a change. The bread was a bit dirty. A bit burnt, but edible.

_Edible._

(Solanum was happy enough that it was, and that's- that's the saddest thing, wasn't it? That a piece of dirty bread was good enough, because the shit that they've eaten - or not eaten - for the past few days couldn't satisfy even a stomach used to poverty and starvation.)

It was honestly the best thing she had ever had.

(For all that Kakashi had a hard life, he never got to starve. He was a prized soldier after all, and his body was his tool of trade. There were times that he missed a meal or two, or settled for a food bar or pill to keep up his strength during high-profile ANBU missions; but, it was- it was  _never_  like this.)

(As her resolve strengthened, Solanum couldn't quite hide the tremble in her hands and wondered if there would be anything left of her once tattered sanity once it was done.)

(...She doubted it, but her sisters - her  _family_  were worth it.)

(And that- that  _undeniable_  truth made all the difference, didn't it?)

.

..

...

When all was finished and Prim was tucked into bed with their mother, Solanum approached Katniss warily.

"Katniss," She started hesitantly as she avoided the eyes with color like her own. "Papa and you used to go to the forest to gather and hunt food before, right?"

Her sister looked at her in surprise "Yes. Yes, we did."

After a moment, Katniss nodded slowly. "That's actually a good idea. I think Mama has copy of the book from before, and I remember that Papa also added what he knew about those plants that can be eaten or not. I know it's here, somewhere." Katniss walked distractedly to one of their cabinets before faltering and turning back. "Thanks Sol."

"You're not going alone." Solanum declared firmly even as her mouth dried and her stomach clenched in dread. "I'm coming with you."


	3. Tinder

**Tinder**  - Chapter III:

* * *

The three of them, Katniss, Solanum and Prim, decided to skip school to gather dandelions in the meadow near the fence.

It was fun. The activity was relaxing and it wasn't like she was in a hurry to wade into the forest, so it was...nice.

It was nice to spend a day with her sisters for once without the awkwardness and hesitance that almost always seem to mar their interactions with one another. Since all of them were focused on getting as many dandelions as they could, there weren't much talking to be had, but both of her sister's presence brought enough comfort.

It made her remember why she loved this second chance at life in the first place.

Seeing their relieved smiles - seeing the  _tension_  that hung over their too young shoulders temporarily disappear made living and surviving all worth it.

"Isn't this amazing Sol? There's so much food!" Prim commented happily, awed at the thought.

"Yeah. It's...it's good." Solanum smiled hesitantly. "Katniss was really smart."

Prim beamed. "Yeah."

Katniss turned to look at her exasperatedly for a moment before glancing away. "I got the idea from you Sol. Don't sell yourself short."

Solanum felt her cheeks warm at the sentiment.

Prim giggled good-naturedly before continuing on in a somber manner. "Won't the Peacekeepers get mad at us because we're skipping school?"

"No, it's okay." Solanum assured, ducking down to add more dandelions in her bucket. "The Peacekeepers here are pretty lenient though we should take care not to stay near the fence for too long."

Both stopped in their tracks for a moment before Katniss joked offhandedly. "It sounds like you're used to doing this, Sol."

Solanum just laughed in response - scratching the side of her cheek awkwardly. "Um. So what are we going to do with this, Katniss?"

She winced at the lame diversion, but stuck with it despite the dubious look shot by her older sister.

That was close.

* * *

Solanum started skipping school when she was six.

After witnessing and understanding the technicalities of the so-called Hunger Games, Solanum almost immediately started training to get back to her previous self's form. She already realized that the odds were fairly stack against her family at the moment and, although considerably more fortunate as the others, she couldn't leave it to chance. She had to do as much as she could to protect her family.

Solanum remembered thinking with blood running down her knuckles and her thin 6-year old body trembling in exhaustion from a particularly intense training session that she'll do anything and everything, all and beyond, if it meant Solanum wouldn't be alone again - her pack wouldn't die on her again.

(Even if it meant that the loss of chakra - a huge part of who she was before - made the goal more insurmountable than it already was.)

There were times, countless times where she almost gave up. Gave it all up because it hurt too much. She was fragile. Her body was weak -  _pathetic_. And she wasn't even sure if her training was bearing fruit.

She sometimes asked, with her legs burning as if they were about to fall off, her body scraped and bleeding, and her heart beating like drums. Why was she even doing this? Why was she even putting up with this torture? Why her?

Why?

Solanum's just a  _kid_  - her disturbing dreams of another life aside. She was her own person. She didn't have to carry Kakashi's burden and self-blame for things she couldn't control. Why was she being subjected to this?

It wasn't her  _duty_. She didn't need to do this because there were numerous families who survived long enough. There were others who lived - not  _comfortably_ , no with poverty encompassing even those in the nicer parts of District 12 - but they managed not to get sucked into the twisted farce the Capitol was playing.

It should be enough. It  _should_  be-

But her family was in the poor part of the district.

She had sisters eligible for tesserae and would eventually put their names in that bastard of a lottery.

She was one year younger than her sister. There's this one year wherein Katniss could be picked or chosen and Solanum couldn't volunteer no matter how much she persisted to. Katniss - her brash older sister - could get killed and she fucking couldn't do anything about it.

She didn't even want to think about Prim because the thought made her want to puke.

They could eventually die of poverty, starvation or rule-breaking if the Hunger Games didn't get to them first.

It  _wasn't-_

The assurance wasn't  _close_  to enough. As long as the Capitol's reigning, it  _never_  would be.

Solanum didn't  _need_  to do anything, but she  _had_  to. Solanum knew that she had the smarts, the grit, the  _experience_  to do something about their situation if needed be.

Her  _dreams,_ regardless if they true or not, were there for a  _reason_.

So Solanum trained, sometimes went to school and acted like everything was fine, all the while trying her best to hide her scars and callouses. With Gai as her inspiration and the look-a-like he took as an apprentice - Lee, she managed to push through everything by sheer will power.

Because those two could  _do_  it - they're living proof that, despite their weaknesses and deficiencies, they  _could_ get strong without ninjutsu or genjutsu. And if they  _could_  then damn it, so could  _she_.

Solanum stood by this routine and although there were some snags, she made it.

She couldn't recreate the awesome feats her previous self can do, but she was pretty damn proud of what she reached now. Not quite jounin level, but chuunin at least.

More than enough to beat a civilian several times her mass or age.

More than enough to go to toe to toe with the Peacekeepers assigned throughout the village.

More than enough to  _win_  if she ever had to.

* * *

There was a thump as the knife Katniss gave her met its mark. The rabbit was dead before it hit the ground.

Solanum smiled brightly. Moving over to the other traps she set an hour ago, she was gratified to see similar small animals were caught on its hold. At least two could be kept for themselves and the others sold in District 12's black market, The Hob. They needed it too since Prim's clothes were growing too small for her and it wouldn't hurt to splurge - as much as a impoverished family could anyway - with the current bout good luck she had in hunting.

She got a good haul today. Katniss would be appeased at least.

Shaking her head fondly, Solanum let the familiar motion of disabling traps and neck-breaking wash over her. As the morbid sound of cracking filled the forest, she fought to keep her breathing normal and let her mind wander from the action.

(She would get over it - squeamishness and all - in time.)

(She survived the forest, after all, and, if she still did falter from the lack of familiarity - of how her body couldn't heed the motions her mind screamed it should - well, it was a working progress.)

(...somehow. If her definition of progress translated to pushing it all down and gritting her teeth to do the deed, then that's just  _semantics_.)

(Besides, Solanum did it before when she was about  _four_  as Kakashi. It shouldn't be any different now.)

It would be better to mull over the next scheme she would concoct to rung out another concession from her older sister regarding the hunt. The arrangement they had now - keep the fence in sight, not too far from where Katniss was comfortable with - was fine but it could be better.

Her skills could reach leaps and bounds if she could find better resisting opponents.

She wondered if encountering a bear would be too far-fetched.

All that meat and battle experience.

It would be  _glorious_.

Although Solanum wouldn't probably set foot on the forest for about one year give or take courtesy to her surprisingly overprotective older sister.

Katniss was...difficult to handle. It took weeks before Solanum could carry a knife and for Katniss to leave her and go on her own way.

It would be frustrating if Solanum didn't find the hovering endearing.

(It shouldn't be a surprise how Katniss seemed insistent on holding her hand through everything since Katniss acted the same with Prim, but getting the same treatment was a pleasant revelation. Solanum was glad her pestering paid off.)

(Even if hearing voices of the people she once knew - talking to her and conversing as if they were truly there, concerned her a bit. They sometimes appeared too, with horrifying injuries to boot. Solanum concluded it probably stemmed from the images her previous self tortured himself with.)

(It wasn't - it wasn't very  _pretty_.)

(Solanum wondered if she finally snapped whenever she hears Rin's laugh or see in the corner of her eyes a pair of blond and pink heads. It probably wasn't healthy - how she's dealing with this - but she knew she wouldn't stop.)

(She couldn't bring herself to care for her sanity or health, if it meant she can see her sisters' satisfied smiles. Knowing that they could eat - that they wouldn't starve this time - does wonders in brightening up their faces.)

(Solanum admitted she was getting kind of addicted to the sight.)

She brushed off the dirt on her knees and walked to the tree where they kept their weapons.

As far she knew, Katniss was only aware of her basic trapping skills.

Solanum hummed.

She wondered if showing her talent in knife-throwing would work.

(Obito said it would, but she's never too sure. The dead-last loved lame excuses, after all, and it was admittedly fun baiting him with taunts like the old times. Solanum could bring herself to look at him when he laughed in that way of his, because well-)

(It was warm enough to make up for his half-crushed body.)

* * *

Solanum smiled slightly as she saw the side of her house with pots of herbs and medicine. She was waiting for Katniss and Prim. They were venturing outside the fence again today and currently, she was enjoying the sight of their mother bustling around energetically as she organized her wares around the house.

It was a far cry from the broken woman that stared blankly at the wall for what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"We're going, Mama." Prim called out cheerfully as she give her mother a kiss. She turned to Solanum with a smile. "Come on Sol. Katniss already there."

"Bye Mama." Solanum said softly as she followed Prim to the door.

Her mother wrung her hands in worry before patting her shoulder gently. "Be safe."

Solanum nodded. "Of course."

...

..

.

This wouldn't work.

Solanum shook her head as Prim cried at the dead animal that Katniss caught with her bow.

"We should heal it, Katniss." Prim pleaded. "Take it to Mama."

Katniss frowned. "We need to kill animals so we can eat Prim."

"But I..." Prim ducked her head in shame. "I don't..."

"I can take care of her Katniss." Solanum interjected. "She could just collect herbs and fruits. Just focus on hunting for now."

Katniss looked at them worriedly before nodding. As she moved deeper into the woods, she called out. "Okay. Let's meet in the clearing, Sol. You know where it is."

Solanum shifted her feet nervously.

('You should comfort her, Kakashi-sensei.' A high pitched voice whispered and Solanum - well Solanum could only bit back a sigh and awkwardly rub Prim's back in comfort, trying not cringe from the flinch of surprise her sister made before she relaxed in Solanum's hold.)

"You don't have to do this Prim." She started. "You can just stay with Mama, you know. Katniss and I could handle the workload."

"I want to help." Prim whispered, after a few seconds of silence. "I don't want to be a burden."

Solanum frowned. "You're never a burden. Prim."

Prim avoided her eyes and looked down. "But I'm not as good as you or Katniss." She wrung her hands in discomfort. "I hate how I couldn't- I couldn't even do anything right, Sol." She whispered. "You tried to teach me before but-"

Solanum stiffened. "That's not your fault. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way, but it was never my intention. I just-"

"You didn't, Sol." Prim protested. "It's not the problem. I knew you were doing it with my best interests in mind, but I - what use do  _I_  have?"

Solanum's hand paused before she continued slowly - feeling out the words she wanted to say carefully. "You're my baby sister Prim. Mine and Katniss'. What you can't do doesn't define you and whoever you are now- it's enough." She smiled slightly, her eyes falling familiarly into half-crescents like they've did before. "You're enough as you are. Just - don't stress about it too much. It's going to be fine."

"Okay." Prim finally whispered after several seconds of silence.

Solanum sighed and relaxed. "You're better than us Prim. Your innocence keep us going." She pulled Prim forward - walking towards the place where edible plants grew. "I'll show you which plants we can eat. It's going to help Mama's apothecary shop, see." She patted Prim's head. "That's enough help, you know."

Prim looked at her searchingly before squeezing her hand gently. "Thank you, Sol."

"It's nothing." Solanum avoided her sister's eyes and ignored her former genins' giggles at her blush.

(Precocious brats.)

* * *

Solanum's tightened her hand on Katniss' own as they crouched, along with Gale - a hunter they occasionally meet and trade knowledge with - behind the trees. The scream of the girl running earlier was  _chilling_  as she sobbed over her companion's impaled body, and the three of them of them could only look on helplessly as a hovercraft appeared and hauled the two bodies up in the air.

There was utter silence as the transportation disappeared before the forest continued on its activities.

She- she needed to get her sister out of here.

"We're going home, Katniss." Solanum said calmly as she pulled the dark haired girl to her feet. "We're going home." She stared at her sister's troubled eyes intently and murmured. "We're going to forget about this and sell the meat we caught."

"We could have helped them, Everdeen." Gale's voice rang out, aggravated for a reason Solanum couldn't fathom.

Solanum tightened her hand on Katniss' own. "What do you mean, Hawthorne?"

Gale gritted his teeth. "It's like you didn't even care they were killed. Forgetting them as if-"

"If we moved," She interrupted, side-eyeing Gale carefully. "the Capitol would have captured us too." Her lips quirked in a bitter smile. "It was the most logical thing to do." She rubbed her sister's back as Katniss threw up beside the trees. "I suppose you already knew that though, since you were the one who heard her first."

The teen's face twisted. "You were the one she called out to, you -"

"Don't finish that sentence, Gale." Katniss whispered as she valiantly try to regain her composure. "I appreciate the help you sometimes give us, but don't take your anger out at Sol when you didn't do anything too."

Gale flinched as if slapped. He turned back abruptly and didn't say a word as he walked away.

That's okay. Solanum always knew he didn't like her for some reason or the other. But  _Katniss-_

Solanum knew Gale was her friend. He made Katniss smile sometimes.

"You didn't have to do that Katniss." Solanum said blankly. "He's your friend. You could have made up with him after that."

Katniss went back to her feet. "He's not. We just have an agreement." She curled her fingers on Solanum's arms almost painfully. "You're my sister - family. He's not getting away with calling you names when he's being a hypocrite."

Solanum nodded, pushing the emotions the reply evoked for later inspection, and ran with her older sister back home.

* * *

Time passed by.

There were some problems here and there, but her family had food. They were relatively  _content_ , if not happy.

Then the ball dropped and everything went to hell.

She should have known it wouldn't last long.

Solanum was fifteen, Katniss was sixteen and Prim's twelve - now eligible for the Hunger Games.

Her blood ran cold when Effie Trinket, District 12's escort, disgustingly cheerful, announced. "Primrose Everdeen"

It was time.

Solanum raised her hand and, along with Katniss who pushed her way to Prim, shouted defiantly. "I volunteer as tribute!"

Prim's anguished cries echoed around the square as silence reigned. Katniss looked at her - horrified. "Sol." Her older sister whispered.

Solanum made her way to the two. "I volunteer." She repeated - her voice clear and strong.

For her family.

"I volunteer as tribute."


	4. Chapter 4

**Spark**  - Interlude I:

* * *

Prim smiled softly as she patted the rump of her goat, Lady. The animal was old,but it did its job well. She got the goat as a birthday present from Katniss and Solanum the other year so she took care of it as best as she could.

They were really the best older sisters a girl could have.

Katniss with her overall protectiveness, reliability and the bottomless affection. Her calloused hands brushing her hair every night and tolerated Prim's incessant need for cuddling.

Solanum with her subtle ways and actions that screamed out care and love in equal spades. Jaded gray eyes identical to Katniss' own flashing fondly as she tried to teach Prim to defend herself as much as she could.

She honestly wouldn't exchange them for anything in the world.

Prim admitted it was...difficult and infuriating sometimes when they baby her or tried to spare her from the realities of life - something she's already familiar of despite what her sister's might think - but that's alright. They were together. As long as three of them were with each other, well-

Everything would be alright.

The blond-haired girl just finished getting milk and making cheese from her goat. Her mother called on her a while ago to dress and get ready for the reaping, but Prim was stalling - rather preoccupied about how she would give the gift she painstakingly saved for weeks to Solanum.

It was a bit late, for about several months give or take, but this would a good way to cheer her older sister up. Solanum's birthday had always been a sad affair with the death of their father and all, so no one was in the mood to celebrate the event - least of all the birthday girl herself.

It was her way of saying thank you too for giving her the comfort she needed after being the focus of Katniss wrath when she persistently brought up the subject concerning tesserae that other month.

It was admittedly...impulsive of her to bring it up. Prim, at that time, was illogically fed up of being the baby - of being the youngest that needed to be taken care off while her sisters do everything they could so they wouldn't go hungry every day. Despite Sol's comforting words - about how she was their inspiration and "innocence" during the first and last time she went beyond the fence, Prim couldn't help but feel like a burden to both of them.

She didn't have Katniss strength and cleverness or Sol's intelligence and cunning. Even with her work with Lady, it felt like she wasn't doing as much as she possibly could.

However, Solanum really did have a way with words. Her attempts were clumsy - as if she was trying vainly to emulate another person - but it did the trick. After a talk with her, Prim felt a little bit better.

It was a pleasant surprise considering the older girl always liked to keep to herself even from before.

Solanum used to scare her, actually.

Prim could remember asking her mother or Katniss why Solanum was always screamed in her sleep and  _well-_

No one really knew or understood what's Solanum's going through.

And if she was being honest, no one really cared or put enough effort to get to the root of all the tortured screams and ceaseless crying. They  _soothe_ , yes. They hug and wipe the tears but-

Her father was too busy, her mother too tired and her sister, Katniss, too preoccupied by how unfair their life was.

And well, Prim just got into line and ignored how Solanum was pushing all that unexplainable grief down and repressing it the best she could.

...Solanum deserved better.

Prim really hoped her sister liked her gift.

Walking inside the house solemnly, Prim shot a smile at the sight of Katniss sweaty form.

"Come on, little duckling." Katniss murmured teasingly as she took Prim in her arms and patiently untangled the knots out of her hair.

Prim sighed and let herself lean into her sister's shoulders.

"Where's Solanum?" She asked.

The fingers in her hair stopped. "I don't know. I thought she went ahead when we parted in the fence."

"Oh." Prim frowned. "Okay."

She'll just give the gift to her later then.

* * *

Prim could only scream in anguish as both of her sisters volunteered themselves in her place at the same time.

It echoed throughout the silent clearing hollowly.

" _No_   _no no_." She sobbed frantically, fervently hoping that this was just a dream. This wasn't real. "Please no! Katniss. Sol." Prim fought against her mother's grip valiantly. " _Don't_  do this."

Always a  _burden-_

Always so  _useless-_

"Why is this happening to us?" She whispered, her voice hoarse. "It wasn't fair. It wasn't - _isn't_  right.  _Why?_ "

Prim looked at the closed-off look in Solanum's face and the utterly devastated one on Katniss.

Everything hurt.

...

..

.

Katniss couldn't deny that Solanum was strange.

Someone too mature for her age. Someone too hardened, too cynical, too... _wrong_.

It hadn't always been that way.

She could distinctly remember a time before the drama.

A time where little Solanum was the girl with the pretty blond hair like their mother and the same gray eyes like their father. The girl who was like a little kitten - always scampering towards her and accompanying her practically everywhere, eager to please yet adorably prickly at times.

Until everything just...changed. Her sister became withdrawn and seemed to curl in on herself until the Solanum Katniss once remembered seemed to fade.

Until the previous her was nothing more than a memory.

It took a while before Katniss accepted that.

And, if Katniss was being frank, she probably couldn't bring herself to do so in this lifetime.

She admitted it was horrible of her to think that way, but Katniss wasn't particularly nice. That was Prim's job and well - even with Solanum's persistence and help, the most she could give was a spot below their younger sister.

Don't get her wrong. Katniss still cared - they're  _blood_ , after all - and she would give her life for her, but given a choice between Prim and Solanum, she would choose Prim every time.

Yes, it was horrible of her to care for one of her sisters more than the other, but Prim was light and unbroken and innocence and Solanum-

Solanum was...shattered - a fragmented version of the sister Katniss once knew.

Katniss sighed as she walked towards the Hob - the black market were they usually trade their catch - her and Sol's haul in hand.

Although their relationship was different now, it wasn't - it wasn't that  _bad_.

Both of them were trying their best to build a bridge and Solanum's help in the hunting was always appreciated.

Her sister had a gift with knives and traps and, as good as Katniss was with her bow, Solanum's mostly the reason why they were eating like - or even better than - the merchants in the nicer part of the district.

They could even spare some meat for their neighbors once or twice. With Gale's family mostly, even after what happened in the forest. They needed the help and Katniss' family had the luxury to be benevolent.

Besides, Katniss was sure she could cash in on the favor when the time came. Gale was prideful and well, a favor or two from a hunter as skilled as she was wouldn't be amiss.

Lugging her bag in Greasy Sae's place, Katniss plastered a smile on her face. "How about six of the fish for good bread?"

* * *

Katniss could only look on blankly at the people in front of her as she stood on stage with her sister.

She-

She didn't really know how things could go so wrong this fast.

Why did Solanum have to volunteer, damn it?

_Why?!_

"Since this was particularly unorthodox," Effie announced energetically once she convened with the higher-ups. "The Capitol had decided to let only the best between our two brave female tributes to pass on to the official competition! After announcing the male tribute, the two of you would be having-" She paused dramatically. "a _fight_  until one surrenders or incapacitated.  _Death_  isn't out of the rules too so if you have some hidden grudge against the other, it wouldn't be frowned upon."

The eccentrically-dressed woman clapped her hands in front of her happily even as the crowd looked at her in disbelief. "How utterly exciting! I didn't expect for something like this to happen, but the  _drama_ , the  _intrigue_. Who between the two  _sisters_ -" Effie glanced at the two beside her in the stage. "You are sisters, right?" When Katniss nodded jerkily, she continued. "would get the chance to win the gold, the fame and the big fancy house at the top." Effie laughed. "What more could you wish for?"

All was silent.

Not a sound was heard.

And Katniss-

 _Katniss_  was trembling.

...She's  _scared_.

.

..

...

Gale, as he grimaced at the sight his trap was reduced to, wondered why he didn't just ask the blond-haired Everdeen girl for tips when he and the two sisters were cordial with each other.

She was brilliant with the traps, even better than he was, and it was stupid of him, he admit, to let his pride to get the better of him.

And now he had nothing to show for it but fishes and strawberries he managed to found somewhere.

He didn't want to owe them again, but, unfortunately, it would look like he would. The youngest Everdeen girl, Prim, if he remembered it right, would probably drop off another bunch of meat as a sign of good-will and-

Gale sighed as he stood up from his crouch and packed up his things in frustration.

He  _hated_  being a charity case.

He wished he could have handled the hovercar debacle better. It wasn't fair of him to take it out on the blond-haired girl, but there was just  _something_  about Solanum Everdeen that pushed his buttons.

He never really did like her all that much.

She was... _unnerving_.

There was something decidedly odd about her that Gale couldn't pinpoint and it didn't help that he hadn't gotten over how, on the first time they've met, just as he was offering to teach Katniss for a partnership in exchange of his knowledge in traps, the younger Everdeen girl just have to reveal how good she was at the trade.

He didn't like how... _extra_ he feel when she was there. How he wasn't needed because with her on Katniss' side, he was nothing.

Not that it mattered now really, since he and Katniss weren't talking to each other much.

Gale shook his head in disgust. He couldn't hunt like this.

He should probably get ready for the reaping.

* * *

The two sisters volunteered.

Of course they would.

Gale wouldn't expect anything less since their devotion to Prim was obvious, but it made his blood run cold nonetheless.

The thought of the two fighting for the spot-

The two would probably do their best so the other wouldn't fight on their behalf.

This would get ugly.

When Effie Trinket continued to the drawing for the boys, he could feel himself tremble.

Even before the woman could open her lips, Gale knew this was it.

That's just the kind of shitty luck he had.

"Gale Hawthorne."

It was him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Smoke**  - Chapter IV:

* * *

Solanum fought to keep her breathing even, as she stood over her sister's vulnerable form.

The fight ended in seconds. Despite the weapons the Capitol had provided, Katniss was down before it even  _began_.

Her stomach churned in discomfort as her sister valiantly tried to stand up despite the injuries Solanum wrought. It was-

It was such a pathetic sight, Solanum fought the urge to puke.

(She  _did_  this.)

She tried to keep the injuries minimal. The wounds looked much  _worse_  than it actually were, but-

(It wasn't supposed to be this way.)

Katniss wasn't supposed to volunteer. Prim wasn't - she wasn't even supposed to be  _picked_  damn it, considering the fact that Katniss and her made sure to minimize the risk of their youngest sister being chosen as much as they could - short of actually stowing  _away_  and leaving this country.

The thought of Prim being chosen in the first place didn't even cross Solanum's mind. She was more concerned about Katniss, since the dark-haired girl insisted with taking a tesserae every year, at least one, just in case their luck in hunting wouldn't hold, and had about 16 slips all in all.

(If Solanum was chosen- well, Solanum knew Katniss wouldn't speak up if she was ever reaped; and Solanum wouldn't even  _want_  Katniss to do so, if she ever was. Solanum knew Katniss valued Prim way too much to do that and someone needed to provide for their sister's needs.)

(Solanum  _couldn't_. She wasn't all too right in the head, and she wasn't blind to the fact that she sometimes slipped and replied to the ghosts of her previous life. Their mother wasn't exactly the most reliable person for the job either, because even though Solanum loved the woman, even she could see her mother was cracked.)

(...It also wasn't a secret that Solanum was pretty much at the end of everyone's priorities.)

(Solanum's fine with that. Truly. It would absolutely break Prim if Katniss died, and Solanum already sacrificed too much for her family.)

( _This_ \- this wasn't even a  _problem_  to begin with.)

Clenching her hands tightly - her nails digging into her palms, Solanum hated.

(hated the Capitol, hated people for being fucking cowards and letting this go on for so long, she-)

(-she hated  _herself_.)

(She didn't know she could hate herself more than she already did until her hands were stained - once again - of the blood of a person she swore she would protect, her sister at that, and a part of her - a small, convoluted, hopelessly petty part she couldn't quite squash - actually felt vindictively pleased at Katniss' pitiful state.)

(Solanum  _disgust_  herself sometimes.)

"Don't do this, Sol." Katniss whispered hoarsely, her voice pleading as she stood up, panting. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to -" Her voice broke as she begged. "Please. Just stop."

"I couldn't." Solanum smiled tightly, the expression settling on her face strangely. "I wouldn't even if I could. District 12 wouldn't win, Katniss." She paused. "Not with you as the tribute."

Solanum form blurred as she went to her sister's side to knock her out quickly - hoping to finish this as quickly as possible, but she faltered as she noticed how her sister shuddered in fright at her proximity.

(Solanum allowed herself to breath, a moment of weakness passed unnoticed by the people around them.)

( _In_. She leaned in and let her hands punch through her sister's gut. Katniss sucked in a breath and choked at the sudden pain.)

( _Out_. Solanum's lips brushed by her sister's ear.)

"Let me do this, Katniss." Solanum murmured wearily, letting herself crack just a moment - for herself at least once before the dominoes fall down, her hair concealing her face momentarily. "For Mama and Prim, if you can't do it for my sake."

She saw how her sister's eyes widened in an emotion she couldn't quite pinpoint, before the dark-haired girl fell into the ground with a loud thump. The sound was almost deafening in the silent clearing and Solanum-

Solanum could only look at them blandly in response, carefully ignoring Prim's cries and protests as she was held down by their mother, as Solanum walked to the stage and stood beside Gale.

(She still...didn't know what to think about the horrendously unfortunate pick. It's understandable, since Gale's tesserae and chances of being picked was more than most considering his age and family - but well, she couldn't help, but curse and inwardly give the world a huge fuck you for being the shitshow that it was.)

(She couldn't quite disregard the fact that Gale made Katniss  _smile_  in a way that her and Prim never did managed to.)

"Well, that's quite a show, isn't it?" Effie murmured, breathily.

Solanum smiled, her eyes falling into crescents. She made sure it was. "Of course."

* * *

Her first visitor was Peeta Mellark.

It was a...surprise, since she didn't expect a visitor in the first place after the performance she put on - Kami knew the people were silent throughout the host's excited blathering - let alone someone like Mellark who lived in the better part of the district. The boy was kind though, of that she was certain, although he did stare at Katniss far too much for her liking.

(The burnt bread, though - the bread he gave Katniss once was delicious. Solanum never forget her debts and made sure to buy from his family's bakery whenever they could spare it. His father was quite kind and gave her extras whenever Peeta's mother wasn't around. Prim too, was given the same courtesy, whenever she sells her goat cheese and set aside something for them.)

Solanum's gaze bored down at him measuredly, her gray eyes sharpening as the minutes ticked down with the boy only shifting on his feet.

"Hello." Solanum started politely. "You're Mr. Mellark's son, aren't you?"

"Hi." Peeta croaked out, his voice breaking. "Yes. I'm Peeta Mellark, I was - I mean I want to-" He paused, before straightening up. "I want to say thank you." He continued, his eyes intent and solemn. "I think what you did was brave and I - my father and I - will try to help your family, as much as we could."

Solanum furrowed her eyebrows lightly. "Why?"

"My father was quite partial to you, you know," He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "He couldn't come up here because well my mother-" He winced as if remembering something. "He wanted to give you his wishes, though."

Solanum was silent, before a knock was heard, signalling that Peeta's time was done. "Thank you." She murmured, accepting the package in Peeta's hand. "I would...appreciate that."

Peeta nodded, smiled at her uneasily before moving on outside.

Solanum started to relax when Peeta was no longer in sight, when Prim came in with their mother in tow.

(Katniss was nowhere in sight.)

(Her chest, inexplicably, start to hurt.)

"Prim." She couldn't quite help, but breathe out. Solanum thought they wouldn't come.

Prim took one long look at her face, before throwing herself in Solanum's lap and broke down. "I-I'm sorry, Sol." Her voice stuttered as her slight form trembled. "It's all my fault." Her expression tightened as she tried to stifle her sobs.

"No. No, it's not your fault, Prim. Don't say that." Solanum argued, pursing her lips. She rubbed her sister's back in comfort. "Hush, now. Come on." Solanum sighed when tears fell down her shoulders, staining the dress her mother set aside for her. "Katniss will be here for you. Just follow her lead, okay? Don't forget to take care of Lady." The older girl smiled as she smoothed her sister's long blond hair. "You'll be fine."

"You'll come back, wouldn't you?" Prim whispered, hugging her tightly.

Solanum paused for a moment too long. "Of course."

Prim stiffened. "You're strong, Sol. You could do it."

"I-" Solanum stopped. "I'll try." She pacified weakly.

When the Peacekeepers came, she looked at her mother and smiled. "Take care of them, Mama."

Her mother stuttered a breath and a tear fell down from her cheeks, the smooth lines in her faces becoming more striking as she grimaced. She glanced at her sadly. "I love you, Sol."

"I know." Solanum whispered, her eyes soft. "Thank you."

She pressed a kiss on the top of their heads, ruffled Prim's hair as her younger sister sneaked a piece of cloth into the pocket of her skirt, before following the Peacekeeper's lead on her sides as they traveled to the train station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Edited previous chapters. Short update, because I suck at fight scenes and skipped it altogether. Sorry, if it wasn't up to anyone's expectations (I don't know if anyone still reading this, to be honest), but I'll try harder next time. Maybe. 
> 
> Buy me coffee? kofi.com/alunagray. If not, reviews would be a fantastic motivator. Thanks for reading.


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